Embrace the chaos of the season you are in.
How to be a homemaker through each of life’s seasons
The Seasons of Home: Embracing Chaos, Clutter, and the Beauty of Right Now
There’s something deeply comforting in realizing that life – like nature – moves in seasons. As homeowners and parents, we often find ourselves longing for the “someday”: Someday the house will stay clean. Someday the couch won’t have milk stains. Someday I’ll sit in a tidy lounge drinking coffee while it’s still hot. But Today might look more like a laundry avalanche, snack crumbs in the car seats, and a growing pile of odd socks. And it is important to remember that Today is also okay.
Be in the NOW
Accept where you are now. Whether you’re tiptoeing past a newborn’s crib, refereeing two toddlers in a game of “floor-is-lava”, navigating the emotional minefield of teenage mood swings… Maybe you are just sharing space with pets who think they own the place. Acceptance is the key to a more peaceful home and heart.
The influence of age and stage on house and home
The people (and animals) in your home shape its function and feel. A home with Newborns becomes a soft, low-lit haven full of swaddles, feeding pillows, and burp cloths. When you have Two-under-two it means open-plan chaos. You will have safety gates, finger smudges on every surface, and probably toys in the pantry and apple slices between the couch cushions. Teenagers bring a different energy. They need more space for independence and privacy. Suddenly open plan doesn’t quite work for the level of noise (from devices and hormones). You might even feel the fridge will never be full again.
Fur babies only?
No kids, just pets? Expect fur tumbleweeds, pawprints, and a smelly type of joyful messiness.
A home needs to grow with the people in it.
Each phase redefines what “home” looks like. And guess what? None of them are permanent. Each season demands its own layout, rules, and rhythms—and they all come with their own mess.
Chaos is not the enemy
Let’s get something clear: chaos is not the same as neglect. A home filled with energy, people, and pets will never look like a magazine spread – and that’s fine. Dusty shelves, toys on the floor, or a creatively doodled wall aren’t signs of failure. They’re signs of life. Creative chaos—like messy art projects, baking experiments, or dance sessions in the lounge—can actually foster curiosity, resilience, and connection.
When chaos turns sour
Neglect, on the other hand, shows up in ways that affect health and safety: mouldy dishes, dangerous cluttered walkways, or homes that become inaccessible due to hoarding and disrepair. But a lived-in, well-loved, noisy, sometimes cluttered home? That’s just life.
Still feel like the chaos is getting to you?
Managing a lived-in home doesn’t mean eliminating mess. It means setting boundaries and systems that work for your season.
Tips for managing the existing chaos
- The basket trick: Keep a “dump basket” in each room. At the end of the day, toss in out-of-place items, then do a quick re-sort.
- Ten-minute tidy: Set a timer. Clean what you can. Stop when it rings. Celebrate what you’ve done.
- Declutter one thing a day: A junk drawer today, a toy bin tomorrow. Small wins add up.
- The “closed-door” policy: Some rooms (we’re looking at you, kids’ bedrooms) are just not your problem today.
How to Minimize Future Chaos
Want to keep chaos from creeping back in? Start with the front door.
- Think before you bring in: Do you really need another throw pillow? Is that toy going to bring joy, or just end up under the couch?
- One in, one out rule: If something comes in, something else has to go.
- Say no to “just in case” clutter: You’re not a storage unit for future-you.
- Digital reminders over paper piles: Say goodbye to random school notices stuck to the fridge forever.
Embracing residual chaos Not everything can—or should—be fixed.
That scratch in the floor where your kid pushed the toy truck? The scuffed wall from wild hallway soccer games? The couch with slightly frayed corners that’s played host to a hundred cuddles? That’s the good stuff. That’s the home telling your story.
Some messes don’t need cleaning. They just need seeing differently.
Be Here for all of it
In the rush to tidy, don’t miss the moments that make it all worthwhile. Your child won’t remember if your sink was empty. They’ll remember you dancing in the kitchen, reading stories on the couch, or sitting on the floor building lopsided LEGO towers.
And when you need permission to let it all be, there’s this:
Excerpt from: Dust If You Must, by Rose Milligan
Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?
Dust if you must, but there’s not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.
So go ahead. Dust if you must. But know that childhood is fleeting, seasons shift quickly, and the mess in your home is often the evidence of love and laughter, not failure.
