The Sometimes-Sinister History of Inherited Items
When your inheritance is problematic
You Take What You Get…But Should You?
There’s something both heartwarming and faintly mysterious about inheriting items from family and friends. On one hand, you’re receiving a tangible piece of someone’s story; on the other, you may find yourself wondering why exactly you’re now the proud owner of a suspiciously bent teaspoon collection or a moth-nibbled fur stole. Inherited items often carry history—sometimes noble, sometimes quirky, and occasionally, let’s be honest, slightly sinister.
The Statute of Limitations on “Stolen” Household Goods
Let’s begin with the most benign category: the “liberated” items that seem to trickle down through generations. We’re talking about things like tea towels with suspicious monograms from a hotel your grandfather once stayed in during the 1960s, or cutlery that mysteriously bears the logo of an old airline. Were they technically stolen? Perhaps. Were they of any significant value (Should you feel guilty)? Absolutely not.
These items fall under what I like to call the statute of limitations of petty household pilfering. No one is chasing down a rogue butter knife from 1972. In fact, those items tend to become oddly cherished—conversation starters that link us back to family folklore. “Did you know your great-aunt pinched this napkin from the Blue Train?” becomes less an admission of crime and more an anecdote that keeps her mischievous spirit alive.
Story time: My own Klepto-Granny worked as a matron at a prestigious Pretoria Girls’ school… and let’s just say I somehow ended up with a full cutlery set stamped with the name of a school I never attend. I know my brother may or may not also have a duck down single bed duvet inner, stamped with the logo of a luxurious private clinic where Ouma spent some time after her second knee replacement.
Oh, and SOMEHOW our beach chairs are old red plastic stadium seats from that much loved Pretoria rugby stadium conveniently located walking distance from the very school where the thieving granny worked.
What Was Once Okay, But Is Now a Little Taboo
Then there are items that may have been perfectly respectable in their heyday, but are now, well… questionable. Think ivory trinkets and jewellery, leopard skin rugs, or fur coats so heavy they double as personal saunas. Back in the day, these things screamed “luxury” and social status. Today, they might scream “Eeek! This item can get me cancelled!”
It’s not that we don’t appreciate the craftsmanship or history, but times and values shift. That once-glamorous fox stole might now feel less like Old Hollywood glamour and more like an uncomfortable reminder that the fox didn’t exactly volunteer. The trick is to acknowledge the past without parading it at present-day functions. A fur coat can be quietly kept in a memory box; just maybe don’t wear it to a “Save the Sea Turtles” conference.
The Poignant but Slightly Tainted
Family heirlooms also have their moments of emotional complexity. Picture this: your grandmother’s ring, a sparkling beauty that she wore daily. Romantic, right? Except it’s from her first marriage—the one that ended in fiery drama and tales of scandal that still get whispered about at family gatherings. Suddenly, you’re not just wearing a ring; you’re wearing a miniature soap opera.
Top Tip: Maybe have it melted down and refashioned into something that can be the start of new and wonderful things, instead of a harsh reminder of a bad marriage.
These items carry a weight that’s more symbolic than material. They’re not bad luck, necessarily, but they do require some mental gymnastics. You may find yourself loving the item but feeling like it comes with a story that can’t quite be untangled. They’re thought provoking, complicated reminders that families are made of missteps and mistakes, not just happy highs and glittering heirlooms.
The “Absolutely Not” Category (Or as we call it: Oh Hells Nope!)
Of course, not every item is suitable for inheritance. Let’s make a clear list:
- Recently stolen goods: If Uncle George insists that the flat-screen TV in the back of his bakkie “just fell off a truck,” please don’t take it. Besides the obvious legality issues, there’s nothing charming about stolen electronics—unlike that fork your great-uncle may or may not have lifted from the Union Castle cruise ship in 1955.
- Historically significant items: If you somehow stumble upon your grandfather’s trunk of artifacts from a world war, or a ceremonial object belonging to an indigenous culture, that’s not yours to keep. The phrase “that belongs in a museum!” isn’t just for Indiana Jones—it’s a real moral guideline. These items deserve preservation and respect far beyond a spot on your mantel piece
- Culturally sacred items: Some heirlooms cross into territory that’s not just taboo, but deeply disrespectful. Funereal jewellery, burial shrouds, or anything tied to rituals of death should never be treated like décor. These items hold meaning that goes beyond your personal family narrative and passing them down as trinkets shows immense callousness and disrespect.
Good Vibes Only: Choosing What to Keep
So, what’s the bottom line when it comes to inherited items?
At their best, they’re objects that connect us to stories, memories, and loved ones. A hand-painted teacup from your granny, a slightly dented silver spoon, or even the well-thumbed recipe book with gravy stains—these carry good vibes. They bring laughter, comfort, and warmth into your home.
At their worst, they’re items that drag along shadows: the guilt of something improperly acquired, the heavy reminder of outdated values, or the unsettling sense that this object doesn’t belong in your hands. In those cases, it’s worth pausing and asking yourself: does this item carry energy I want in my life?
And here’s the key—it’s not about superstition or religion. It’s simply about surrounding yourself with things that make you feel at ease (or even comforted). If an item makes you laugh, sparks fond memories, or feels like a cross generational hug from a loved one, it belongs. If it makes you cringe, carry a mental asterisk, or raises awkward questions about international smuggling laws, maybe let it go.
You Make the Rules
Inherited items are like time capsules—tiny fragments of history that arrive in our present lives with stories attached. Some are funny, some are complicated, and some are better off left behind. The trick is knowing which ones to cherish and which ones to politely decline.
Because at the end of the day, your home should be filled with objects that bring warmth, joy, and good energy—not with things that leave you side-eyeing the mantelpiece and wondering if that ivory figurine is more of a debate starter than a conversation piece. Surround yourself with items that lift you up, tell stories worth telling, and remind you of the best parts of the people who passed them on.
