The Decor that Time Forgot
A guide to modernising your home.
Smash that CD tower
Welcome to the Great Home Declutter of the 21st Century!
Ah, the joy of owning a home. Your sanctuary and stronghold… and sometimes, an accidental museum of the late 20th century.
If you’ve ever opened a drawer and been met with a tangle of Nokia chargers, a suspicious VHS labelled “Christmas ‘94”, and a non-stick frying pan that looks like it’s been through a meteor shower, you’re not alone. It’s time for an honest look at the outdated items cluttering our homes and how to send them packing (kindly, responsibly, and with just a hint of nostalgia).
CD and DVD Storage: The Sad Towers of Plastic Past
Let’s talk about those looming towers of CDs and DVDs. Once proud symbols of your carefully curated taste, they’re now glorified dust magnets.
…And VHS tapes? Unless you own a functioning VCR (and if you do, blink twice so we can send help), they’re about as useful as floppy disks.
Modern fix: Digitize those treasured family videos! Services exist to transfer VHS memories to digital formats. Once digitized, store them in the cloud (Google Drive, iCloud, Dropbox) and you’ll have your memories on hand without the bulk.
Mountains of Old Magazines
We all have that one corner—maybe it’s a basket, maybe it’s a shelf—where Home & Garden magazines from 2006 have gone to retire. You told yourself you’d tear out the recipes or revisit that article on Feng Shui. It has been nearly 20 years…You didn’t.
Modern fix: Keep a few that are truly meaningful (first issues, covers featuring icons, that YOU magazine with your high school friend’s wedding feature), and recycle the rest. Magazines make excellent wrapping paper, collages, or fire starters if you’re off-grid-chic.
Outdated Kitchen Décor: The Grease Traps of Yesteryear
If your kitchen features plastic fruit, rooster-themed curtains, or tiny shelves stuffed with ornamental spice jars from the 80s, congratulations—you’re starring in a Retro Kitchen Horror Story. The problem isn’t just the aesthetic (although, yes…), it’s the dust and grease they trap. That once-whimsical wooden plaque reading “Kiss the Cook”? Probably a grease incrusted fire hazard by now.
Modern fix: Minimalism is your friend. Replace cluttered shelves with sleek open storage or easy-to-wipe backsplash tiles. If it can’t be cleaned with a single swipe of a cloth, it’s not your friend. And yes, ceramic roosters count. If you are desperate to keep that cock around, move it to a bookshelf away from grease and steam and use it as a conversation piece in your entertainment area.
The Appliances That Time Forgot
Does your fridge rumble worse than a loadshedding generator? Do you own a microwave with mystery buttons and suspicious rust?
Appliances age. And when they do, they become energy vampires—or worse, health risks. Let’s not even get started on that scratched Teflon pan flaking chemicals directly into your eggs.
Modern fix: Upgrade to energy-efficient appliances with proper safety certifications. You’ll save money on your electricity bill, and your food will be less… toxic. Non-stick pans with scratches should be tossed. Your omelettes deserve better.
Bathroom Oddities and Outdated Toiletries
You know those fuzzy toilet seat covers and matching tissue box holders that scream 1994 spa fantasy? Or that seashell soap and rock hard bath salts in the gift pack that has never been opened? They’ve got to go. Ditto for lotions, sprays, and makeup that pre-date your smartphone.
Modern fix: Keep your bathroom clean, modern, and breathable. Toss expired toiletries and makeup (they can harbour bacteria), and consider upgrading to a sleek matching dispensers hidden storage. A crowded bathroom is difficult to clean, less is more in a bathroom.
The Legendary Box of Random Cables
Ah, the fabled cable box. HDMI, USB-A, micro-USB, SCART, VGA, headphone splitters, power banks from 2012, and that one charger that fits nothing you have ever owned…Every household has this box. It’s the Bermuda Triangle of tech.
Modern fix: Dump everything on the floor. Match what you still use, label it, and keep only those. Recycle the rest at an electronics recycling centre. Sad as it is it’s time to make peace with the fact that your Nokia 3310 isn’t making a comeback, and even if it does, someone’s selling a new charger online.
Boxes Your Electronics Came In
Why do we keep boxes for phones, headphones, monitors, blenders and popcorn machines we bought five years ago? Emotional attachment? Fear of returns? A misguided sense that the box makes us more organized? Unless you’re planning on reselling it soon—or moving next week, those bulky boxes belong in the recycling bin.
Modern fix: Keep manuals and receipts digitally. Most companies store product info online anyway. You can even download PDF’s of most instruction manuals. You’ll instantly gain cupboard space and stop apologizing every time someone opens the hall closet.
The Sugar/Flour/Tea Jars from Grandma’s House
Sentimental jars are charming. Their contents? Not so much. If your jar of flour came from the pre-internet era, toss it. Moisture, bugs, and decay are real concerns.
Modern fix: Empty, clean, and reuse vintage jars for new ingredients—or just for display. It’s OK to honour grandma without poisoning your family with 20-year-old baking powder.
Outdated Cleaning Products and Cosmetics
Do you really need that 5kg tub of dried out pine gel bathroom that predates Covid? Or the glitter hairspray from your cousin’s matric dance? Old chemicals can degrade, leak, or become irritants—and some are downright dangerous.
Modern fix: Check expiration dates and use reputable disposal methods (especially for aerosols and bleach-based cleaners). Invest in modern, non-toxic, eco-friendly products that won’t give you a headache—or leave weird residues.
Final Thoughts: Letting Go with Love and Laughter
Decluttering is not just about aesthetics. It’s about safety, space, energy efficiency, and, most importantly, honesty. Be real with yourself: Are you keeping that drawer of mini soaps because you think they’ll be useful… someday? Or because they remind you of a vacation ten years ago?
Marie Kondo may have popularized the “spark joy” method, but sometimes it’s not about joy—it’s about function. That means saying goodbye to things that no longer serve your present life.
It’s not about erasing the past but about making space for the future.
Don’t clean out of bitterness. Recycle, donate, upcycle. Let someone else give your old waffle maker or novelty mug a second life. You’re not betraying your past self by letting go of her lip gloss from 1998. You’re celebrating her by giving yourself the gift of a fresh start.
So go ahead. Open that cable box. Face the CD tower. Hug that outdated blusher one last time. Then wave goodbye… with confidence, courage, and a whole lot less baggage.
Your modern home awaits!
