How to enjoy your new space without alienating your grown kids.
Empty nest syndrome refers to that weird feeling of loneliness some parents get once their chicks fly off. (grownup kids move out)
My mother-in-law had an empty nest by the time she was 56.
She could have moved to a smaller house, and finally erased her children’s messes and clutter from her home. However, being a very smart woman, she showed me exactly how it should be done. Without alienating her kids, she successfully reclaimed her space and to this day my partner still feels loved and at home in his mom’s house.
How? By being sneaky.
She took one of the kid’s rooms and made it into an office space with a Harvey bed but she kept the art, bookshelves and décor pretty much the same. Even the poster behind the door reeks of 90’s nostalgia and makes her kids feel like right at home. The other room she successfully turned into a lovely Grown-Up-Kids sleepover haven. Kitted with a large double bed, extra seating, lots of cupboard space and even a small water dispenser and charging ports for all manner of electronics. (I only pack my toothbrush and a change of clothes when we visit her, because she even stocked the bathroom with all the products we use at home. She’s brilliant!)
By doing this she clearly cherished some of the old memories and invited us to make new memories all at the same time.
There’s the room full of nostalgia and then there is this amazing new guest suite that makes us feel like coming again and staying longer. Is that not the whole point of having a relationship with your grown kids?
As a bonus, she now has an inviting and beautiful guest suite for whenever other people need to stay over. The woman loves entertaining, family gatherings and hosting guests so believe me when I say that suite gets a lot of traffic. She is definitely enjoying finally having a ready-made guest space instead of having to tell out of town family and friends that they have to find other accommodations.
Find your balance
Moving on when your kids move out is a balancing act. People are irrationally linked to their childhood homes and rooms and if you clear out everything the moment they drive out the gate, your children might feel like they are losing that connection to home.
We are not saying that you need to leave your children’s rooms as time capsules, but there is a way to find a balance. Maybe you need a work room or a library, but you can incorporate some of their favourite furniture or décor in the rest of the house. Maybe you can repurpose the playroom but leave up the alphabet poster as an homage to their primary school years.
If you feel that you have to reclaim every inch of your indoor space, why not turn a blind eye to the swing set in the backyard…You never know when that might just turn out to be your future grandchild’s favourite play space.
Tips for parents struggling with empty nest syndrome
Dealing with empty nest syndrome.
